Someone's Gotta Say It, The Emperor Has No Clothes!

With my Utah Jazz down early in their series with the Los Angeles Lakers, they have a monumental task ahead of them. I honestly didn't like their chances from the start and despite having Kobe Bryant on their team, I actually respect this year's Lakers team. They play good solid team basketball and could be a formidable team in the NBA for the foreseeable future. But watching game one of the Lakers/Jazz series yesterday reminded me of the tremendous disrespect I have of the city and greater region of Los Angeles.

As the Jazz narrowed the Lakers' lead in the 4th Quarter, celebrity Lakers fan, Jack Nicholson was literally shown on TV every ten seconds. It got to the point that I was embarrassed for ABC. This was a basketball game, right? But watching ABC's broadcast you wouldn't have known it. Sure, the other celebs in attendance were given some love by the camera, but somebody at ABC must have a thing for Jack Nicholson.

All of this brings me to a question I've had for quite sometime. What is with America's infatuation with Los Angeles and all things related to it? I just can't quite figure it out. The place is a cesspool. I'd put my hate of L.A. on par with Laramie, Wyoming. Seriously.

While L.A. is home to some great culture and architecture, you wouldn't know it based on the garbage that spills forth from it. The rest of America views L.A. as the model of the California dream. The sun. Palm trees. Beautiful people. It is an image that even the poorest of residents have bought into despite the fact that none of these things make their miserable existence brighter. For beyond the mansions of Beverly Hills and the glitz of Hollywood, Los Angeles is a wasteland of urban sprawl. There is constant traffic, endless strip malls, air pollution, and street after street of drab tract homes that all look exactly alike.

Even among the rich and famous the image is nothing like reality. Drugs and alcohol are rampant; used in combination with cosmetic surgery, steroids, and the latest fashions to mask the ugliness underneath the surface. Years of compromise, degradation, and dignity surrendered for a shot at fame and fortune.

Yet it is hard to blame those who are drawn to L.A. America is sold on what Los Angeles does best, sell an image. And even if most Americans recognize that's all it is, it doesn't seem to matter. They buy it anyway. People want to believe it exists and hope they will someday get there; even if they know it doesn't and they won't. There is no greater sign of insecurity and weakness than trying to be something you aren't. In being all flash and no substance, this is exactly what Los Angeles is.

When Kobe Bryant returned to his "hometown" of Philadelphia during the 2001 NBA Finals, he was heartily booed. In a city that celebrates its heroes, Kobe Bryant wasn't one of them. Why? Because in Philadelphia there is nothing worse than not being true to who you are. Kobe Bryant showed he was more L.A. than Philadelphia when he spurned the Charlotte Hornets, refusing to play for them, instead insisting on going to L.A. In a way it's hard to blame him for wanting to play in a place where he would have more money and media attention. And that's the problem, nobody except Philadelphians did.

Los Angeles is the embodiment of the tale of the Emperor's New Clothes. While most of the World is blinded in its worship of L.A. there are too few who see beyond the hype. A night out in Hollywood without rose colored glasses is all it takes. Women who have everything but substance abound and douche bags are on their tails in hot pursuit, impressing them with money, fast cars, and jewelry but in reality having little of value to offer. It is a sad sight, not because it exists but for the fact that we, as a society, worship these people.

There are so many better places to admire. The beauty of San Diego, the ingenuity of San Francisco, and the culture of New York City. As for Los Angeles, I prefer to leave it where it belongs, in the trash.