This is a public service announcement for all single ladies in the Washington D.C. Metro Area.
If you frequent Proof or any other fine bar or restaurant in the Gallery Place/Chinatown/Penn Quarter area, be on the lookout for the middle aged male owner of this orange 2005 Mazdaspeed MX-5:
He may have good game and even a little charm, but if you take a closer look at his license plate, probably not:
What does it say? At first, I thought it may have something to do with the fact that he has the GT Package that was an option on the Mazdaspeed MX-5. However, upon closer inspection, it appeared he had a vinyl, instead of cloth roof - so that possibility can be ruled out. Unfortunately, the only thing I can think of is:
It may seem incredulous that anyone would be such a douche. I really hope I'm wrong, but unfortunately, his rear view mirror leaves little doubt:
Yes, you are correct, that is a garter. Klassy! (with a K)
So what's the moral of the story? Ladies, unless you're into the middle-aged hit-it-and-quit-it type or you're completely desperate, steer clear of this hopeless romantic.
One final note: Since I recently purchased a third car, I've been debating which one of the other two I should sell. If other Mazdaspeed MX-5 owners are similar to this guy, I think my decision is easy. I don't want to be associated in anyway with such a douche canoe. At least he has a fast car to make his get away after leaving you alone in bed feeling completely, absolutely, and utterly unsatisfied...